I am a bitter old fuck who hates music. So I sit at home and listen to this crap all day and reminisce how great things were back then, when my typical daily activities aren't limited to only stroking my thick hairy schlong. I hate gaining weight on a daily basis because when I don't go on the dance floor, I have rolls after rolls of lard piling up my stomach. My favourite hangout is at my local coffee shop and the bar right across the street where I attempt to pick up hoochie mama's to no success. Friends all fucked off and graduated from college while I sit home and do fuck off at a time when economic uncertainty prevents me from doing anything productive. I play in a shit band that's constantly trying to bring back the early 21st century metalcore to no success. I wish there was another Hellfest so I can kick the crap out of Bad Luck 13 Extravaganza. Life sucks and I can barely pay my internet bills. The only thing I'm optimistic about is the inevitable suicide that shall work out well!