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Vestiges - The Descent Of Man

Because when hardcore and metalcore went out in 2011, it has become officially trendy to enjoy crust, sludge and doom bands. This band does all three and in fact, they're simply so doom and stoner rock that it took me eight naps to simply get through this entire album. I know that's what this band's going for, a slow-paced and introverted-like record that makes one appreciate the artistic and poetic depth of what they have to offer. Not like I really understand what htey're trying to say. But after reading this stupid sensational diatribe, I am getting the sense that they are dumb tree hugging hippies: 
The Descent Of Man follows the creation, the evolution, and the eventual annihilation of mankind. Today, we find ourselves hoping to reverse the damage that we have done and struggling to sustain what little earth we have yet to rape repeatedly. We validate this existence with stories that justify our behavior and our role in the natural world. The promise of salvation in a land we have yet to see has clouded our judgment in a land that is right before our eyes. Industrialization, militarization, overpopulation, theism, specieism, and nihilism are regarded as evolution and progress. Our greed and ignorance have been celebrated and our past has been forgotten. We were meant to be a part of nature. We were not meant to conquer nature. We were given life and we have done everything in our power to bring death upon everything in our path, including ourselves. There will be horrifying consequences for what we have done.
For man has sown contempt, man shall reap a bitter end.
Let our bodies replenish this earth, for the true color of man has shown!

I'm sure people goto college to create this sort of environmentally-conscious art and expression. But when this shit is expressed & played around fat retarded hicks like me with an unworthy IQ of less than two digits, I fall straight the fuck asleep. And that's dangerous considering I ordered a cassette of this band for my car to play and here I am dosing off on the highways. My insurance company no longer covers me under their policy if I play this band while driving. I get a feel of these bands, especially with their approach to merch. They like to keep it simple and release some retarded medias that nobody uses, like cassettes and phonographs, to show that they are old and vintage, and that their items are collectibles. But what the fuck are you going to play that crap on you fucking outdated hipsters? If the vinyls don't come with a link for the free album download then chances are you won't be getting it anyways, you stupid materialistic fucks. Now I'm glad this band offers something different from the current metal and hardcore artscape but I'll be sure to carry a pillow and a sleeping bag on me when they tour my town. I need some lullaby to cure my goddamn insomnia. And as I push mosh my way out their show before it ends I'll be sure to litter my plastic bottles all over the venue and parking lot, but not before taking a shit in the bar sink while the bartender goes out for a smoke break before I leave the world that they sing about in a state of disrepair.

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