Nora - Loser's Intuition
A man sits at a computer. It's the year
2001.
"he seeks inspiration for his
artwork. Soon after, he proceeds to google "lamb and goat fucking,"
smirking in delight at how much this grotesque image would shock the preps at
his school. Every finger-painted picasso-by-way-of-retard would be a thorn in
the side of every jock. Soon the phrase "jared the moron" would lose
all meaning and its ability to wet his eyes like a concoction of lemon juice
and onions. Yet the first search result piqued his interest before he could
even click images, and it was to a metal website titled "lambgoat."
Immediately he chucks his taproot
discography out having heard the new lords of heavy music in a bleeding through
album sampler. Soon, too, would he find an outlet for his ridicule. Soon, too,
he realized he could be the arbiter of insults. Soon, too, he would realize he
wasn't good at that either. Still, the man persisted with his most grandiose
idea yet: if he could have the most total posts, his stature as significant in
any way would be presumed. He took to the metal website's message board with
idiotic rage and an eye on first place. Eventually his top spot was challenged
thus he began to practice what was nothing more than thinly-veiled spam.
And the man grew old as a decade passed,
and continued his bad artwork and shit posts. And he found a lass resembling a
rag doll drowned in bleach whose cervix was sealed shut by venereal disease.
And he worked 12h shifts computer programming at minimum wage. And he sweat
beads of Mt. Dew and backed up sperm brought by impotence. And like a
capitalist's greed, he was the biggest winner in an innately broken system. And
as a king in his mind, and a diabetic potato in reality, perched upon his
throne, or as to some it's known, a broken stereo, he stood hero to a story
none would read, and sat heir to a joke of a life without a punchline. Decade
after decade."
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